First installment in a series of ongoing articles from Rabbi Goldin on critical issues of the day

Dear Friends,

           This is the first in what I hope will be a periodic series of communications concerning critical issues of the day.  I continue to search for ways to increase our communication on such issues and sincerely hope that these messages will help.

            This past week I raised the question in the Main Shul as to who is raising our children, “we, or the surrounding society”.  No sooner was Shabbat over, when I received a number of calls concerning a series of incidents within our community and beyond, which only served to heighten my concern.

            To put it bluntly, I wonder whether or not we are demonstrating the necessary responsibility concerning the supervision of our teenage children. 

I offer some points, as I see them, for your consideration and discussion:

1. Substance abuse remains a critical problem within the teenage community today and our own children are far from immune

2. For many teenagers today, alcohol has become the drug of choice. The abuse of alcohol today is widespread and dangerous.

3. Parties at which alcohol is served place our children in harms way. Parents who allow such events to occur within their homes-whether or not they are personally present -abdicate their responsibility.

4. Parents who do not know where their children are going on a specific evening and whether or not they will be in homes where responsible adults are present-also abdicate their responsibility.

5. If you host teenagers in your home for events and occasions such as: Simchat Torah and Shabbatonim -you accept responsibility for their behavior and their welfare.

6. The more we talk to their children about the dangers of alcohol abuse, drug abuse and the like-the safer our children will be. We should also actively speak with them about the peer pressures they face during, and after, school hours.

7. Incidents concerning substance abuse should be taken seriously even if they are "first time infractions". One step down a particular path can, unfortunately, lead to more.

8. Our own behavior serves to shape that of our children. When our children see us abusing substances such as alcohol, they learn to do the same.

            As I have often stated: It is not our job to be our children's friends, it is our job to be their parents.

            I look forward to your thoughts. Please feel free to send me comments at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Rabbi Shmuel Goldin